I wore my white heelswhen I walked out of my bedroom. He heard me and looked up as I simplystood there posing like a model. His mouth dropped open and he did notsay anything, then..."What has happened to you! You look... you have..." After all this time Amanda has developed into a wonderful young ladyand now you can see for yourself that there is no going back! I askedher to model this suit for you so you could see just how lovely she is!Now then we have a daughter, her name is Amanda, and she is here tostay. Amanda, go change." I left the room as fast as I could, but changed into my tightest shortsand a tee that was snug. If mom wanted to push his buttons, I was goingto help. I do not look like a boy in any way, and those shorts provedit. I touched up my lipstick and walked out of my room. Dad was standingthere with a sour look on his face."You did that on purpose! You're provoking me!" No dear," mom said, "we did that to prove to you that Amanda is here tostay. She does not have a. I could stop any time. I wasn’t going to sleep with him. It wasn’t going any further. But ... but when I said, ‘no,’ he ... he didn’t stop. He ... he took me anyway. Please don’t hate me, Tony. I don’t deserve to be with any of you. I was sure I could stop him, but I let him.”“Kate that’s rape!”“I went there willingly. He didn’t get me drunk or drug me. Who would believe that I even said no? I can’t imagine you even believe it. I hated you, Tony. I hated you because I believed you acted the way people all acted. That he’d respect me. That when I said no, he’d back off like you did. I hated you for making me trust you—and trust anyone.”I was shaking so hard I was afraid I’d drop her. It was all my fault. Kate was crying in my arms. I was so shocked I couldn’t think of anything but “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”“I’m sorry, Tony. I don’t hate you. I hate myself. I was so fucking smart. I was so proud and confident. I ruined all our lives. Now you’ll hate me. Wendy will hate me. I’ll never be.
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